how i feel right now...

I just want to retreat from loves constant combat. Spend some time alone with my abstracted mind, and my lonely heart. But he still soldiers on; he’s had his time for thought. I might join him again when I’m stronger. If he loves me, he’ll let me catch my breath. He’ll let me rest.

My Marauder

He steals my days away from me,
And I let him,
Constantly.
From the time the sunlight saturates my room,
Til the moonlight sneaks through in small streams
He reigns here.

He’s the reason little droplets abandon
My eyes and cheeks
And litter my pillow gently.
From the moment my head tries to rest in peace,
Til I rise with dry eyes
He rules me.

He’s the reason my companions complain
Of negligence.
From the period when class ends,
Til the next begins again
He conquers all.

But against his force,
I wage no war.
I firmly brace for the damaging blows
I humbly accept the pain that follows
I wipe away the blood that flows
Like they are souvenirs of times gone.
Like I deserve it.
And I do.

Who wants to run away with me...?

I believe I am unlike most people. I am never content or satisfied with myself or where I am. I always feel as though there is more to see, more to experience and more to learn. I am not content with staying in one place for too long. It bores me. I begin to become restless. But don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate things. Because I do. Greatly. I just feel as though my soul is constantly searching and will never settle down. My soul flies from place to place; staying just long enough to admire the scenery. Never long enough to let go of baggage. I am surrounded by others when I land, but remain lonely in flight. If only I could find that one that has as much passion and yearning and love that would fly away with me and never get tired. But for now I settle.


I love, with a lonely heart…

Untitled (for now...)

Hey, how many water images and metaphors can you find?! Lol

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You were my sun shiner but now my sun setter.
Your love was like a mist but now my days keep getting wetter.
Torrential rain drenches my clothes and my pride don’t look no better,
So I fill my cup with heartache
And toast to greener pastures.

Drunken with dreams, I still walk down the rocky pathways,
Stumbling, hoping, lonely,
If I slip will someone catch me.
My mind is constantly moving,
Skimming over any deep streamed thoughts,
If I stop too long my mind begins to wade,
In all of memories ponds.

Ive left your hands,
And landed right into my own palms.
Instead of following your map,
Ive lead myself into my own arms,
An unfamiliar sea.
Its funny how I know all your movements,
Like the moon predicts the oceans tidal,
But if someone quizzed me on myself
I would lose the reigning title.
So when I glance on tops of waters
Its like I’m staring at a stranger.
She looks homeless,
Don’t wanna stare too long,
It might offend her.

But I wonder, if shes ever bathed in love.
Or if the sour stench of hurt just overflows and seems to flood.
And I wonder, why her face looks so tired.
Maybe the ripples of his lies caused the waves on her skin to rise higher.
And why she looks so thin,
Perhaps the sips her soul of were drowned by her diet of vodka and gin.

Wait. She looks familiar;
Reminds me of a girl whose weak plea I couldn't quite decipher.
Too late, his dams pressure submerges me in the puddle.
Only the faint murmur of my cries through shattered air bubbles
Voice my struggle…